MESaturday, January 12, 2008
back to blogging....
stress up.... f*cked up.... tts all i can say... smtyms i just want to take a brk from everyone xcept for tt one person...
anyways, do u blieve in fate? its sumting tt u cnt xplain on hw it werks...
lyk how one of my fren says...fate is sometig tt u cant xplain..n how fate brings two people togetha...
he's been living opposite my school for 19 yrs... wen i was in still schooling der for 4 yrs...he's been there all dis while... we just didnt meet each other wen we r close... lets just say... we r so0o closed yet soo0o far... haha.... but its just weird and unexplainable how we cud in the end get to noe each other...n he is still living in tt same house wen i was having tt oh-so0o-boring-so0o-we-decided -to hav-our-own-fun camp...just imagine all the din tt i make at his blk...the meet ups wif my ex-es at his void deck...hahah....dang.... i guess if i had open my eyes even more i wud hav noticed hi earlier..but tt wud nt b the same anymore.. cos i wnt b as close to him lyk nw..n...fate werks in an incredibly unxplainable manner...if tt incident of his really did take place, i guess i wouldnt even get to noe him...well, he is my listener... he always help to hear out my probs..n listen to wad i hav to go tru... just sitting down and talking with him makes me feel at ease.. looking at his face just make me smile and sumtyms make me forget bout all d tings tt i hav to go tru... i lied to him yest... i told him i cnt look at his eyes cos im uncomfortable.. n i cn only look at sum1 in his eyes if he is a fren whom i noe for a very long tym... i lied to him..i cnt get myself to tell him d truf bout it... in actual fact its d opposite...if only he knows tt i cnt look at him cos im used to it.. but if i look at tt person in his eyes.. n i cn do it lyk a long tym..it means another ting... but i cnt tell him tis... i cnt... so0o anyways... me n tis fren of mine r just fren-based... its just tt i cn share evryting n aniting to him..
quoting from him... u r a problem solver for others.. ; u r a tortoise.. believe in urself bn dun care bout others..
i owaes tell n dvice other people to nt care for wad other peole say..but im dointhe same ting..but nt bcos my slef-esteem is low...its bcos tt i dun want to hurt others....
well,,yes i am..but i dun solve my own problems? i just dun lyk to share wif others unless im very comfortable wif them or i just feel tt he/she is sum1 tt cn b a goodlistener n tt i wnt trouble he/she wif my probs...
niwaes... i feel lyk running away from evriting..sumtyms i feel tt i nid to go sumwhere alone with a gd company by my side...whereby both of us just keep quiet n look at the stars n feel d breeeze of d wind... lyk yest nyte...thx kyo...
``Purpledramaqueenmadness ; 11:52 AM
Thursday, September 27, 2007
i just realized how lucky i was to be in tis world...to be loved by others..be it my family, friends or ehem ehem...even though i dun hav one...haha..m1.
no serously, tink of it tis way..life without that special someone..can be boring..but if u were in my shoes.. u wud say.. relationship for nw is just a movie..or just a play... y? lets c.. first of all..it has its period of tym.. 2ndly, it has its sweet introduction.. den followed by its conflict.. n den its resolution/coclusion..which is. either the couple rmains or nt...
as for me.. i feel super duper great n lucky... i didnt noe tt the decison of braking up with sum1 especially that sum1 wud make a huge diffrent in my lyf... its been mths nw.. n my lyf is better.. my studies gg on gd.. even thouh i do nt really go out wif my frens...its ok...i still hav them in my heart... love lyf..no one special at the moment... no bf...urggh...hw i hate wen ppl used boyfie to call their bfs... its lyk calling urself dolly for sum weird reason...its as if u added a non-human-liked characteristic to ur bf... like a toy.. it goes to wen u call them hunny bunny or sugarie pie...sounds lyk food..ur bf is ur food?? so0o much for music is the food of love...
nyways..im currently gg on dates..if u guys wanna noe...so0o far none is my music... either too boring...too loud... too skinny...too fat..oops...scratch that...I DO NOT DATE SUM1 HU IS BIGGER THAN SIZE M N SHORTER DEN 165 CM ... haha..picky?choosy? application form is available online.. at www.imverychoosytowhoismyboyfriend.com...
u hav to hav wad u want ryte...
to all ex-es: hey...i forgive all of u...but dat doesnt mean i can forget...but only to tt 1 ex that has freaky in his initials..u r nt forgiven..n i do hate u..but i thank you for leaving my lyf...be happy wif tt gal kae...the gal dat many tinks is a stealer..hehehe..
to all besties: our date shud b after fyza's promos..so0o meaning... after hari raya as well...btw plan for jln raye..gals only or mixed??
last of all i miss amirul jufri...
``Purpledramaqueenmadness ; 6:12 AM
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
my heart, my voice,my mind,my soul...
as the sky turns dark
my heart begins to pound
my voice tries to bark
but there was no sound
as i turn my head to look up to the moon
my mind begin to wonder
my voice tries to humm a tune
but there was neither
as i hear footsteps behind my head
my heart begins to tick like a clock
my voice tries to call out ahead
but it remains lock
as i feel icy palms around my throat
my mind begin to disappear
my voice tries to call out to the boat
but it remains in its pier
as the pressure gets stronger
my heart begins to struggle
my voice tries harder
but it only gives out a gurgle
as the dark sky turns to light
my mind begins to sink
my voice tries to fight
but it was at its brink
as the light fades into the darkness
my heart begins to mute
my voice tries its weakness
but it had turn mute
there was no light shining
there was no heart pounding
there was no voice screaming
there was no mind thinking
as the sky turns to light
my heart pounded to its end
my voice has ended its fight
as he left me around the bend..
-PuRpLeMaDnEsS-
``Purpledramaqueenmadness ; 9:25 AM
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
hey peeps i noe ive not been updating...plain lazy and bz and was trying to settle down....
first of all i want to dclare tt ive moved on....nt with that ingrate anymore....n im nt holding onto any hopes to the other person as well..
its a whole new journey for me now... new journey means a whole new me... but i will still make u guys laugh....
well so0o far im trying to cncentrateon my studies...so far ok lah average b...ok2 je....
friendship...wo0oho0o0o...stll am in luv wif all my besties n i hav new frens tt lave a huge impact on my life...that caused me to changed....
family lyf...as owaes...u guys shud noe...
luv lyf...if uu guys blive in msn luvv den u wudnt tink tt im crazy... reallie i fall in luv wif a guy whom ive nt met...we only talk on d phone n chat on msn.. we do noe hw eacj other looks lyk though...
quoting frm him : purplemadness is equal to seri! in lluv WITH PURPLEMADNESS (1st version)
then he changed it to
purplemadness is equal to Ayu! in lluv WITH PURPLEMADNESS
weee... and he's not clapping with one hand..
i cant wait for tis sat n hopefully next wed happens..*winkz*
some random thoughts.... y isit that a guy only reacts or tell a gal how he feels for her wen he feels he is in a very vulnerable position?
n y does some guys cant stick to one?
n y oes some guys dun even want to admit that he is in a relationship?
btw mie...i agree she is not prety...hehe....
btw zah dump adnan kae...
btw syiq ade mamat cd waiting in line for numbers aku lupe nk kasi ko nye...haha...soon aite....
oh yarh almost forgot..... i hurt sum1 tis wk..but i noe i oredi hurt alot of ppl... letting them fall for me but in d end im nt intrested in dem...
to those i hav hurt im sry..just that i noe wad im capable of...
``Purpledramaqueenmadness ; 11:30 AM
Friday, May 04, 2007
i noe ive not been updatin but i'll try to regularly..promise...
so anyways 4 dis wk...
mon...nth much had my photos tt i took 4 photography back..kinda cool haha..the photos i mean..did evriting correctly..so0o den had studio production lecture..douglas showed us a korean music video..kind of nice bu seems lyk they play alot wif colourse n camera angle rhythm...but his lesson was super entertaining...with his OH MY GOD!! hahah....so0o den it was introduction to film..we watch vertigo by Alfred Hitchcock..he's my man!! hahaha...excellent film..really..u guys shud go n watch it...so0o anyways den went back home..didnt meet aidil todae..
tues..public holiday...wee.....hahahah...did nth actuali jz assignments..well tried too..haha...juz slack at home...dats all watch drumline..n several other shows.....boring day..tarian members came to practice..ive nt been racticing. maeb tis sun den im starting..no soccer training due to public hols...boo hoo...
wed..had nth...juz usual...met up wif aidil..he taught me hw to play pool..kinda hard at first..paiseh lah..im d onlie gal in the pool place...all guys..but i t to relax n did quite a pretty wonderful job..hahah...i ace it..den went back after dnner as tuition was cancelled..so0o went back home..at 11 den started to do all my assignments...haha...ends at 2 am..
thurs...had introduction to film again wif melanie...slept in d tutorial..haha...rerun of vertigo..was damn tired lah n sleepy...so slept lyk a log..n woke up juz on tym as she finishes her class..hha...im so0o bad...den had lunch at canteen 1 super pack...d only table we gt was table dat was surrounded by mamats..no other choice..oh yarh...almost fell down at canteen 1..haha...was super duper slippery lah...but luckily nur rein was der..haha..so0o den had my fav plain rice wif fish fillet n hotdog..hehe..no gravy or aniting else..yum yum...after lunch was followed by studio production w/shop....wee...did CU,LIGHTING,CG n audio...was damn tired by the tym we did audio..but d fun part was lighting...haha...super duper grt..we get to control evriting..key fill back..key fill back..key fill back..hahahaha....class ends at 5.50...rush to sports complex for my soccer...was so0o dumb lah..the door for our club was supposed to be pushed..but i pulled..luckily shidah was in d room..shidah is my trainer..haha...sort of paiseh lah...den rush inside took out boots n shinguards n socks..rush out of d room put on my boots den of to the field..did a few trick drills...haha..izzah..lock ur ankle ok...
oh yarh der was one point of tym we r suppose to kick the ball wif our inside by lifting our leg..so its lyk our partner wud throw the ball n we hav to kick it lightly upwards..izzah's went all over the place..mine.hahah...it was too strong..it went over my partner's head,nearly hit the next person's head..n it hit shidah's neck..wkkakaka...im soo violent..stay far frm me... den der was d obscene part..we had to stop the ball using our thigh so0o wen it hits our thigh it will hit our chest..as i was only using my right only my right side was dirty..izzah was laughing lyk a mad cow n looking at my right side of chest...shut up kae izzah...den did few tackling..den did sprinting..shuckz man..den at d last set which is the 10th set..had a very sharp pain on my waist n kidney...couldn't even walk..hahah..den had to walk lyk a zombie cudnt even turn my body..izzah.zombie pe...wkakaka...izzah being a nice fren clean my boots for me..by soaking it into the water n nt draining the water out..thx izzah..s0o i brought back a bag of water filled boots n socks..haha..den went to bathe..den home..reach ard 12 plus.den ard 1 did my assignment for ryan inggrasia's class....dats all
todae...nth much..just went to delifrance wif mom,grandma,maria n shiqa...hhaa...funny lah..maria had dis kids buffet n she chose two choclate muffin..n wen i ask her if she wants other tings she was lyk,"Maia dun want..neva eat" in mly though..was so0o paiseh lah..she talk so0o loud...haha..den shiqa did her hitting of the table while giving a very weird face...die mcm geram geraman gtu..hahaha..den after breakfast wen to sch by cab...had art n dsign..drew 3d todae...well, quite ok..still having art shock...haha..i can draw..wkakak..den had storytellingtechnique class...played a game wif ben for d class..n i won..wee...haha...gals r a gd observer..tt rminds me of my assignment,...i hav to observe two strangers..complete strangers..n write evriting bout dem..hm..hw shud i do it?haha...
nyays having leg cramps todae....cant even walk properly fter siitting down for along tym...haiz...my muscles r still nt use to it lah..maeb it'll get better soon..
tmr will b gg to hilton to help my aunt wif her dancers performance...haiz...tiring for sure..nvm lah..niwaes, aidil will b gg der in d evening soo i'll b fine..hehe
update more soon..n i'll try my best to update regularly...
``Purpledramaqueenmadness ; 9:46 AM
Sunday, April 29, 2007
anione want to xchange lyf wif me??? hahah...anione tinks tt my lyf is wonderful??haha..i wish...
wizard of oz - there's no place like home... is tis phrase true ? i have doubts bout it..
ever feel like u juz dun belong n dat no one understands u...or even lk no one try to understands u.. or worst u r nt given the equal ryte r oppurtunity than ur other siblings? or sumtyms u wonder y u were even born in the first place..
niwaez.. poly life is ok..cool modules that im crrently takin..photography,studio production,understanding films art n dsign n creating screenplay....the tym tables r flexible...d earliest is 9 n d latest is 2...wee...hahah...as for my cca i took up soccer..wee...but i hav to werk hard to get a plaxe in the 1st 11...which is hard for nw..but im gg to werk hard after im well enuf...btw,i lost almost 5 to 7 kg in 2 wks..i hav no idea wad happen to me...isit due to the climbing of hill or isit bcos im nt eating.i dunn0e..my face is nw pale n abit sunken den usual..i look damn sick lah..i dunn0e...i juz hate it...but to lose 5 to 7 kg in less than 2 wks is juz weird seriouzly...its lyk im doing a crash or sumting...
been having alot of tinks in my mind nw..im till settling down for sch..lotsa of assignments n projects..if to compare both aevel n diploma standards..its both d same..juz tt diploma is more hands on..but in terms of which one has to go through harder examination i say diploma..u hav to do written test n as well as practical tes and oso project based test whereby u hav to mit d public. n conduct d project sumtyms even with celebrities tts for my course only though.
``Purpledramaqueenmadness ; 7:14 AM
Monday, April 23, 2007
been tinkn again..the primary causes of brk up...3rd party..the primary cause of a crush nt becoming lovers...3rd party...isit the guys fault cos they tend to go to a prettier gal? actuali no n yes...
sumtyms its us gals hu dstroys otha gals life..for example...a gal noes that a guy is attached to anotha gal..but she deliberately seduce him n causes the guy to brk up..or even gal noes that the guys lyk anotha gal..but she had to seduce him until he fall for her...hw bad can a gal be...gals being the weaker sex..yet cunning..
sumtyms the one that is most closest to u r the one hu wud dstroy u..blieve me..even though im a gal myself. im ashamed of my own sex..my own sex that causes brk ups of beautiful relationship.. my own sex that s a 3rd party..i mean a guy wudnt want to go for anotha gal if the gal didnt open up to him ryte...it takes two to clap...it takes two to tango....if d gal didnt start it wud d guy hav fallen for her...
we'll take crushes for example..d guy lyks a gal alot..super2 alot...but suddenly came anotha gal...be it a fren of the gal tt he lyks or an outsider..if that gal didnt talk or 'lyn kan' d guy.. dat guy wud b togetha wif the gal dat he lyks initially...
nw for relationship... if a gal hadnt get to n0e a guy hu is attached n talked to him n b close wf him..dat guy wudnt hav fall for her n brk off his rship...
u c ppl..sumtyms we cant ju blame d guys...sumtyms its bcos of us gals dat made brk ups...we dun realize it...but sumtyms we do..if u were to say uve neva done it tink again...evryone wud hav...sumtyms u r d victims sumtys u r d bad guy..u might b a victim of ur own fren/bezfren or even u might b a victim of an outsider..or u r d bad guy to ur own fren or an outsider...so ppl tink kAES...dun b a bitch to otha gals...if u hurt ppl.one dae u wud hurt urself..n if u keep ruining otha ppls luv lyf..u wnt get ur own luv lyf back..trust me...ive gone tru it...
``Purpledramaqueenmadness ; 7:32 AM
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