METhursday, February 16, 2006
was reallie sleepy in sch todae........almost fell asleep during shem...my head was tilting all over the place...sleepy mah.....haiyo...den..gt my january progress report...fuck sia....i did so0o badly....hav to pull my socks...reallie pull it high up.....haha....lame joke....
went back home....my aunt said sumting bout faihzal....wadeva lah.....i dun get it.....seme tk kene....sape lagi yg kene.....u juz dstroyed my heart last tym....i reallie reallie luv n lyk him.....but u say i hav to stay away frm him....btw,tis him doesnt refer to faihzal.....refering to sum1 else.....
n i still luv n lyk him ok.........but bcos of evriting.....bcos of him knowing tt u didnt lyk him being frens wif me...he dcide on evriting...well tt was my theory 4 him to ask me to forget bout him the other tym.....n i was so0o stupid to tink tt it was for real...hey hu wudnt...i was reallie hurt tt tym...tout he was for real.....so i was abit angry..duh....kae2 my sidetrack is so0o0o long....
niwaez......kept tinkin bout him since last wk...cudnt stop it.......evrytym i tink bout it....i start to cry......thad tout of him in sch todae.....fareez tout i was in a bad mood...but actuali i wasnt...was juz nt in d mood to talk.......
nw i cant even talk to him...let alone b fren...bcos of tt stupid mistake i made....haiz....arent i juz stupid....its too late tt i juz realize my mistakes nw....but sumtyms i feel tt he is lying...i dunnoe...but sumtyms i feel he is nt....dunnoelah...but i noe tt evriting is over...stupid me.....stupid acts.....i dservve all tis ryte.....chib sia,......
iza..ur qn juz nw reallie open my eyes....it made me tink of my feelings....if nt i tink i wud rpeat all my mistakes again....i wud hav lied to myself.....am i happy wif faihzal????????? yarh...i am nt actuali....n i will neva b........i tink nt wif anione else too.....
i juz felt tt i wud b happy wen im wif.....u noe hu.....i still rmember very vividly during the holidaes...tt was the most happiest moment of my lyf.....i was wif him tt tym...was very close...i was reallie happy...a smile on my face evriedae...i cud even hear my own laughter....haiz...but all tis is gone....i cudnt reallie c tt sweet smile on me.....i cant even hear my laughter...i cant even feel my happiness...haiz...sorrow feels me evriedae........
if he is reading all tis...im sorry...reallie sry..i didnt noe wad u meant the other tym....i reallie tout u ask me to leave u.....i didnt noe wad to do...i was reallie angry at tt point of tym.....i didnt tink deep enuf....im juz stupid...as u hav said i am immature.....yarh i admit..i am...but i learn frm it,......nw evrieting is gone....if onlie u cud come back into my lyf.....it wud b a dream if it happens.....
feeling sorrowful each dae......
sadness is within every inch of me....
``Purpledramaqueenmadness ; 8:40 PM
MYRA
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