MESunday, February 12, 2006
FEBRUARY...it is suppose to b the lukiest mth....the bez mth of the,...yr...y??????? cos its my bdae mth.....the 1st wk of tis mh was ok...tout it wud b alrite.........nt until tis wk.....
evrieting came pouring in...all was wrg......my mind,my heart,my health...juz evrie single lil ting.....
the worst begins on fri....
fri...
had my comp trainin....it was damn tiring 4 me.....i was havin one of my sick dae.....my rib cage was in pain,i was out of breath,my body was warm,head was spinning n my throat hurts...worst ting is tt my leg was reallie realle in pain....can twalk properly....so after the trainin..while waitin 4 ma'am....we chat among each other.....den found out sumting reallie unxpected...sumting tt i cudnt take.....faihzal is nad's ex bf......i ant continue the relation lyk tis.....no i juz cant.......its juz zo0o0o wrg...nadi n i r team mate...close frens....we spend alot of tym together...we r juz too close ..i cant do it...even though nad is already happy wif her 3yr relationship...hmm...wad to do....i tink if i reallie can take it anymore...i hav to ask 4 it...to me its juz wrg to take my frens ex.....
sat
feeling worse den ever.....accompanied my sis to the shop...by the tym reach the shhop..i was feeling reallie weak...cudnt even walk tt fast.....n i was out of breath too....worst still.. i had tis spinning feeling...den in the afternn.....chatted wif faihzal online....den nad was oso online.....so dcided to ask him whether he rmembered her or nt....he did...tis made me feel more guilty....after tt small talk.....evrieting was difrent by then...i cudnt talk to him lyk i normally do...
hmm...shud i continue wen i hav tis guilty feeling deep insyd me....haiz...i dunnoe....its juz so0o0o wrg,....
sun...
todae tt is....woke up....laze ard abit....tout about nad n faihzal incident.... den sudenly arn came to my mind again......haiyo...dunnoe lah wads wrg wif me.....keep tinkin bout him again n again even thought i didnt show it....evrietym im online wud search 4 him..haiyo.......wad a wrg ting to do......so try nt to tink of it tt much...after bathing....didnt hav the mood to eat...suddenly i juz cried.....cudnt stop cryingg.......i hav no idea y....so wen online....more werst....continued to cry......found out almost evroting i tink...i dunnoe .....but seriouzly...im confused nw..i hav no idea wad he meant actuali......n y muz he keep the truf or even wad he reallie wans frm me......if he had told me evrieting wud b difrent nw..i guess......haiz.....i dunnoe lah....juz feel lyk crying again........
to the sottp gals...thx aite.......4 hearing me out...mansor too...thx......
lets juz hope tt in the few wks to come it wud be abit better....after all my bdae is coming....ard 2 wks lyk tt..i tink.....nt so good at counting...lets juz hope my sweet 16 wont turn sour.......i wish.........
``Purpledramaqueenmadness ; 4:20 PM
MYRA
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